Pimp My Ride

So clearly this bumper sticker is horrific just like the rest of the car, which had crap piled up in the backseat. Included in the junk was a child's car seat turned upside down. So however hot this mom is, she's not very good at her job. The saddest part was that this car was spotted in a Wal-Mart parking lot, where all trashy things seem to accumulate. I just wish I had been able to get a look at the supposed MILF to see if the sticker was truthful. Bottom line: If this was your car, take it off. To the other "hot moms" in the club, please stop. You're embarrassing yourself.Going along with the car theme, up next is this blue beauty. I love Polo, and to see it on this car hurt my heart. In the life book of rules, it states that clothing labels should not be duplicated on any vehicle's surface or apholstery. I would like to add that this car was already ugly before the huge polo horse was placed on it. I'm currently upset that whoever drives this was grocery shopping at the extremely clean and classy Kroger I also shop at. Before now I thought of it as a place only the most normal people went, but I was wrong. Also, who is going to want to buy that? Exactly. No one. It's like a tattoo. Once you get it, it never goes away and you regret it for the rest of your life. That's how the owner of this Mercury Grand Marquis must feel about that tattoo on his ride.

The Ponytail

I don't even have to go into specifics on this one. Get a ponytail holder. You look ridiculous.

Note: this photo features my roommate, who recreated the offense for blog purposes. Thank you to the girl who was my original inspiration. You looked even worse than this picture.

Leggings

I love leggings just as much as the next person. They are comfy. In fact, I am wearing some right now. However, unlike many of you, I'm wearing shorts over them. I'm sure the people like myself are thinking, "Now Maggie...why wouldn't you wear shorts over them? It's not like your leggings are a substitute for pants." exactly. Leggings. Are. Not. Pants. For some people, lots of people, too many people...they are. Yeah, yeah it's comfortable, but you know what? Wearing a diaper and peeing on myself is super comfortable too and I don't do that in public. My principal made a rule when I was in high school that unless they had pockets, they weren't considered pants. At the time, I was just mad because that meant I still had to wear a skirt that was almost to my knees even if leggings were worn underneath. Now you people think it's OK to wear a normal-sized t-shirt with just leggings. Well let me tell you something. When you do that, I can see your butt. And any other crevice you happen to have. Some of you must be under the impression that I, and others you walk past, enjoy it. You are mistaken. A good number of you should not be wearing leggings at all as it is most certainly not a good look for you. Others wear the leggings with UGG boots, which is weird because although your feet are probably toasty, your barely-covered legs are not. So, here are some guidelines that you all should follow because lately your fashion sense has been lacking.

1. Wearing leggings as your only means of bottom-half covering should be reserved for the privacy of your own home.

2. Big t-shirts do not count as dresses unless they legitimately cover half of your thigh (and unless you ordered an XL, this probably does not apply).

3. If you must go against everything that is right in the world and wear only leggings, please make sure they are in no way transparent. Yes, I saw you and no, it was not pretty.

[Please see photo] Look, even she feels stupid and is trying to pull down her shirt.

You're grammer sux

I have always taken pride in using correct grammar. I am not saying that I don't make occasional mistakes, but they are never as obvious as the ones I see on printed signs. Most programs have spell check. FACEBOOK has freaking spell check. If for some reason you don't catch it on the computer, how did someone else not notice it before you put it up for everyone to see?? One time at Krispy Kreme I saw they had friut on the menu. Not fruit... friut. How did that sign make it all the way to the side of a building without anyone catching that? Mistakes like the one in this picture drive me absolutely insane. NO APOSTROPHE WAS NECESSARY. Other things that people cannot seem to get right: you're vs. your, too vs. to, it's vs. its and other things that were included in the lesson plans of every fourth grade teacher. Just thinking about this is making me mad all over again.

Oh, and by the way...this sign was in the Chick-fil-A located in the Auburn University student center. I can think of no better place than a campus of higher education to display a mistake like that.

Men Wearing UGG Boots

I'm sorry, but if you are a man and you own a pair of UGG boots, you should find the receipt and return them. I was shopping this past weekend and there in the middle of the Polo section in Belk was a man with long, grey hair wearing jeans TUCKED INTO HIS UGG BOOTS. Yes, I used tucked in and UGG boots in the same sentence as the word man. This should never happen. As soon as I saw him, I immediately told my sister to get picture confirmation. So she stalked him around the store, getting extremely close to him and eventually producing an acceptable photo, which I have attached. As someone brought up, the boots could be acceptable in arctic temperatures where warm boots are necessary to live or whatever. People, that was not the case with this man. WE WERE IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA. I was horrified. My sister was horrified. You should be horrified.